If you’re really going to take the kids to an adventure movie, journey back to the box office and buy two tickets to the whale movie “Big Miracle.” It will be far more worth your time.
I simply do not enjoy watching disjointed kids movies that make incredibly ridiculous jumps of logic, while trying to maintain their credibility with the youth by spouting out trendy catch phrases of the day.
Journey 2: The Mysterious Island is the equally pathetic follow up to 2008’s Journey To The Center Of The Earth. Josh Hutcherson is the leftover from the first film, and is joined by Michael Caine, Luis Guzman, Dwayne Johnson and Vanessa Hudgens. I would imagine none of them will be listing this film on their resume.
Sean (Hutcherson) discovers a secret message from his grandfather (Caine) and convinces his stepfather (Johnson) to fly him to an island in the South Pacific on a school day. The stepfather-son relationship is stereotypically strained and Mom decides it’s an OK idea to help them bond.
Once there, they meet up with a willing, but low-rent tour guide (Guzman) and his daughter (Hudgens) who take them on a three-hour tour (sing it!) in search of the lost island.
They find a hidden place of beauty, only to discover they are in danger and need to flee. That’s a pretty crappy vacation indeed.
It’s annoying to me when characters who are clearly supposed to be human are allowed superhuman powers. The fantasy of this kid’s movie is supposed to be the magic they encounter and it’s wonder. Jump-starting a submarine with a giant electric eel is magic. The Rock singing a soothing song while playing a ukulele is not magic. At least carrying around the ukulele pays off somehow.
Journey 2 may all be entertaining for tweens, with all the elephants the size of small dogs and bumble bees the size of horses. The overabundance of poop jokes, bad puns and general mediocrity will be enough to allow Mom or Dad to take a brief nap during the film. Just ask the guy who dozed off sitting a few seats away from me.
Save this as a rental for the kids. Press play and leave the room. There is nothing useful for anyone over the age of 13 here.