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The Brain Strain


Opening Day

Ah, when hope springs eternal! The smell of the grass, the crack of the bat. It's Opening Day in the major leagues. The San Francisco Giants will try to defend their World Series title.
   For years, the Cincinnati Reds always had the honor of playing the first and only game on opening day. The reason? They're the oldest team in baseball, starting back in 1860 as the Cincinnati Redlegs. In honor of that distinction, Major League Baseball had long set aside Opening Day just for the Reds.
   In fact, some fans in Cincinnati have been buzzing over the idea of making opening day an official Cincinnati holiday.
   Today, however, because it's a weekday, a whole slate of games are on tap, along with the Brewers at the Reds.
Signs your baseball team isn't ready for the regular season:
   --Your lead-off hitter is 8 months pregnant
   --Every time pitcher throws ball, catcher screams, "Ow!"
   --Outfielders distracted by big fluffy clouds that sometimes look like bunnies
   --Best hitter refuses to work weekends
   --Only time players demonstrate hustle is when they're being chased by steroid investigators
   --Spirited locker room debates about how many strikes to an out
   --Starters ask to be excused from fielding drills to watch "The View"
   --Most promising rookie recently swallowed a rosin bag
   --Team name contains words "Pittsburgh" and "Pirates" (hard for me to write, I'm a lifelong Pirates fan - Go Buccos)
   --Nobody can keep his mind on the game with that sexy Derek Jeter running around

Good luck to the Brewers today!  And for sure now, here comes spring!!!

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03/31/2011 8:15AM
Opening Day
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